The many myths about the new-fangled Gasoline-powered Horseless Carriage
Let’s just assume that this was found in somebody’s great-grandparents' collection of news clippings from the 1910’s.
The Horseless Carriage: Is it here to stay? May 15, 1910
We have been using horse-drawn carriages for hundreds of years. Thousands, even. And we’ve recently started using a lot of battery-powered horseless carriages. Yet this upstart new-fangled invention which some are calling the gasoline-powered horseless carriage is threatening to, well, upset the apple cart. Let’s look at what people are saying about them, and what our friendly neighborhood experts have to say in response.
Gasoline won’t replace Battery Electric Power
We already have battery-powered horseless carriages - lots of them. Batteries are powerful, quiet, and the rarely catch fire or even explode. Gasoline is one of our most flammable - hence most dangerous - substances.
They’re too Expensive
Some of them are expensive. But we’re just hearing reports of an upstart carriage maker named Henry Ford, who is making them affordable by using German "assembly line" techniques to mass-produce his horseless carriages. See Ford’s advertisement on page 12.
They Don’t Work Well
The gasoline engine has way too many moving parts to ever be made reliable.
They make too much noise
They do. Maybe somebody will find a way to muffle the noise. Until they do, we’re staying well clear of these noisy irritants, and sticking with our electric.
They make too much smoke
Yes, burning gasoline (or almost anything) makes smoke. People on the street have to breathe the same air that’s been polluted by the "smellmobile". This will probably make a lot of people sick over time.
They can’t be repaired
Everybody knows a carriage can have new wheels put on, new seats, etc. to keep it going year after year. But it happens that the same is true of the horseless carriage. Especially Mr. Ford’s new carriages, which are made to precision standards. I shouldn’t be surprised to see them making spare parts available to stables around the country for repair work. However, the gasoline engine having so many moving parts, it will cost at least ten or twenty dollars to repair them!
The human body cannot survive at speeds above 28 Miles Per Hour
Nobody knows where this number came from, but it’s horse-feathers, pure and simple. When you are moving in a carriage of any kind, your body appears at rest with respect to the carriage. If you went from standing still to 28 miles per hour in zero seconds, or the other way around - like driving a horseless carriage into a solid wall - it would certainly do damage. But riding normally, at almost any speed? Not a problem.
They are too hard to start
The gasoline powered carriage requires cranking the engine to start it, which takes a lot of strength. And, if you’re not careful, the crank can be caught up when the engine finally does start, and it can come around fast enough to break your wrist. No such problem with the electric carriage - it just starts, like turning on a light.
Thanks to our panel of experts, especially Dr. … [The clipping was cut off here].